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How to Build Self-Esteem

How to Build Self-Esteem

We have talked about the negatives of being self-critical, and there really is no worse critic than yourself. The best attitude is one that comes from a focus on yourself, as opposed to competing with other people. Once there is a perceived negative self worth, it becomes easy to fall in to the negatives that life will throw your way. Poor self-esteem is a huge hindrance. To avoid this, we must focus on building self-esteem.

To start, it’s imperative to be optimistic as much as possible. When you look around, it’s easy to find the cynics out there, however, that doesn’t mean you need to become one of them. To be optimistic means to capitalise on the good presented within each situation that arises. Regardless of how bad or difficult a scenario may seem, there is always a positive within it, finding it is the key.

“Every experience, no matter how bad it seems, holds within it a blessing of some kind. The goal is to find it.” – Guatama Buddha

Being optimistic does not mean to losing touch of reality. Learning to deal with bad/sad situations with happy/hopeful dispositions is the goal. This takes mastery, as presenting this outwardly may be easy, but truly believing it within yourself is much more difficult. Practicing optimism takes time and patience.

Steps to Build Your Self-Esteem

Have a Positive Self Image

To have a positive self image means to have a favourable view of yourself, this includes talents, abilities and physical attributes. Simply put, to have a positive self-esteem, you have to like yourself. If you don’t, you cannot have a high self-esteem, so this is the starting block. Take time to appreciate who you are, and all of the positives that you have within your life.

Avoid Negative Thought

How do you this? You need to be able to recognise negative thoughts as they enter your mind and replace them with positive ones. If you are beginning to have doubts, replace these with thoughts of confidence and belief.

Allowing negative thoughts to stay in your mind inevitably creates a habit. Habits are difficult to shake, so be mindful of the lasting effects these may have. Have positive affirmations and create positive reference experiences in negative scenarios to help along the way.

Help Others

One way to build self-esteem is in helping other people. You don’t have to be rich to be charitable, so there’s no need to wait until you become a millionaire to start. Listening and being there for other people helps to uplift their lives, and in return you gain a sense of achievement and gratitude.

Share Your Time

Volunteering within your community, or sharing your talents by teaching them in your local schools or for the underprivileged is a great starting point. Those who give more than they have are blessed, we all know this. Be sincere in your giving, not for any particular return, but for the fact that you are specifically choosing to help others.

Dream Big

Dream big, but avoid being too hard on yourself. We are told from a young age to reach for the top, however, it’s important to keep things within your own time-frame and not one set by others.

Use Your Network

Find supportive friends, relatives and mentors. This is probably the most effective way of improving ones self-esteem in the shortest amount of time. Words of encouragement can do wonders to your self-esteem, especially if you’re struggling to praise yourself when you need it the most. Having other peoples love and understanding is just as, if not more, powerful than any self-affirmation or positive thought. Knowing that someone believes in you helps you to believe in yourself also; and this is part of the cycle of why you should help others.

Be Persistent

Persistence to succeed should be your mantra, belief that you can do it being the nucleus. It’s fine to have other people to help you, but it’s really down to you. It’s your dream, your goal, and you’re the one who’s capable of achieving it as it is your thoughts which created it…take ownership.


Building your self-esteem is making yourself ready for whatever life is about to throw at you, good or bad. Being the best version of yourself is the only way to control how you perceive and handle these challenges and rise to your goals.

Follow the guidelines above and your self-esteem will soon skyrocket.

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